I watch them with awe. I’m amazed to find that these people are real, not a part of my imagination, not characters in my movie, not props in my life, but actual living, breathing human beings with intelligent thought, a lot like myself really, beings with lives, with existential preferences, with people who love them.
I watch as three girls sitting with each other, two behind a row of tables and one in front, sitting in an almost triangular position. It seemed like their conversation is real enough, ideas pouring out of their mouths like spilled coffee and each of them slowly taking what each has to say.
More groups of students talking, laughing and generally living their own lives, perhaps even forgetting that I am sitting behind them, watching.I watch forever.
But I digress, facts that are inborn in most people take time for me to learn, for me to absorb, I guess it’s not easy being a person who knows and remembers, I hardly think this is what the Creator would have wanted, but he is now irrelevant to me, I am here, I exist and I do it all without Him. For the moment I learn, I seek Awakening, I seek knowledge at every corner, but I am also faced with fears and rash paranoia, like what happened this afternoon (unless your name is Adhithya Rhadhakrishnan, you will not have any idea about what I’m talking about).
Most people will never learn to accept me though, not for who I am, but for the person I reveal to others. Humans are fragile, you see, and understanding such truths that I posses could shatter their world. And I too, claim not a total awareness of all, neither do I claim that my Awakening was easy, in fact, I believe I’m still in the process.
regards,
diddy ali
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